March 2012
119 posts
My neighbor's dog gets a massive erection every...
narionblack:
ciel-phantomhive:
sillysinz:
...
Jenny: why are you so good to me?
Forrest: because you're my girl.
Jenny: I will always be your girl.
Crying bc what is my life even about
You know what would be nice? If I had a moterfucking date to prom. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS HAS A DATE. I AM NOT GOING TO BE A THIRD WHEEL. OWELL. just going to sit home and cry.
If sex with 3 people is called a threesome, and...
kkevvin:
LMFAOOOOO OMFG AHAHAHAH
1 tag
Me: dude I have cans of RedBull in my car. I live on that shit
Friend: I know why you have RedBull in your car
Me: because I like it?
Friend: no, because you're paying for sex with it!
Me: I'm not having sex!
Friend: oh so he's paying you?
Me: I'm not a hooker!!!!
Friend 2: here's the 20 dollars I owe you
Me: thanks. Wait, where's my purse? I don't have any pockets... Damn it.
[i put the 20 in my bra]
Tonight I just really fucking hate everyone and everything. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow. But if my past experiences have told me anything, I won’t feel any better.
Laughing At My Nightmare!: At Last! →
laughingatmynightmare:
It is with immense excitement that I am posting to officially release the website for Laughing At My Nightmare, Inc! www.laughingatmynightmare.com For those of you that have been following me from the very beginning, you have witnessed the process of turning a blog about my life into a…
“I will not be drunkenly masturbating in public”
This kid is my...
e-ntropy:
“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
I'm hilarious.
Her: I have used a hookah.
Me: Really? How much did you pay him?
